Accept that you must pay more if you are white
Tease OR feed the animals but you can't do BOTH
Appendages will be eaten by animals if stuck through the cages
Feeding Cheetos to zoo animals is not a good idea
Monkeys are mean
Apes have lead pipes and know how to use them
The bonnet monkey can rip off your face faster than the big titted male nurse can sew it back on
If you choose to jump into the bear enclosure you will be mauled and arrested
Bonnet monkeys will rip off you cheek (I felt that was important enough to repeat for the slower people out there)
Beware of the muggers
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